Marriage.

A Successful Marriage requires falling in love many times,

always with the same person.

-Mignon McLaughlin

This weekend we went to a little marriage seminar held here at the school for all the married students. The focus was on marriage in ministry. What does that look like? How do we balance ministry, our marriage and future family and give each aspect every bit of love and attention it deserves? We walked away from the day determined to set our selves up for success, not failure.

But what qualifies a marriage a successful? Simply that you've not divorced? Hardly. What if you're both old and have been married for 50 years, does that qualify as a successful marriage? I'm convinced that success, in many fields, adds up to quality, not quantity and inevitably, if you have good quality, quantity usually flows. In 50 years time, when I look at my hubby, white haired, wrinkled and pathetically cracking jokes trying to make his grand kids laugh, I want to not only be proud of the many years we have behind us, but of the many times we've fallen in love. The many years of amazing memories, adventures and journeys. The many years of giving our marriage to God and living to see each others dreams come true. We want to look back on our marriage and be proud of who we've become.

I believe this means putting your marriage above all else. Above your career, above your kids, above your social life, and even above your ministry. Please understand that I am not implying that we neglect those things, by no means! ByI do believe that marriage should be the center. If your marriage and relationships with God are not strong and well nurtured, it will infiltrate into every aspect of your life. My goal is that our kids (future kids) will view our marriage as a model for their own. I want them to be constantly aware of how much we love and value each other.

There's nothing like being sick that shows your true colors. Since we've been married, I've not been sick. Sure, I've had some unfortunate bug bites and infections but nothing like the flu. The flu just takes over your life. When I had an IV in my hand for 4 days, and both feet swollen to twice their size, I was still determined to be independent. "Matt, It's fine! I got this." was my catch phrase. But there's just something about having a head the size of a hot air balloon, a nose that no longer works and a body temperature that changes from one extreme to the other in less than 5 seconds that completely sends all determination and independence out the window. The other thing that goes out the window is your desire to be attractive and cute. My mother would love me no matter what I look like. That's what mothers are supposed to do. But when your husband rolls over in bed to see your un-showered self propped up with a million pillows, breathing through your mouth, dressed in your favorite tattered and worn sweater with blood shot eyes wads of tissue shoved up your dry cracked nose, and still loves you.... that's love. When he goes to Wal-mart just to get you more DayQuil and gets out of bed at 4am to get you more water---there's just something about that unconditional love of someone who chose to love you that makes you fall in love again.

A successful marriage requires work, much work and much sacrifice. Laying down your life for the other person. For their needs and their dreams. It's common, before you get married to hear " but, you'll never fall in love again."...

I guess they've never been in love.